marry me
by katebecketts
Summary: Post Watershed one shot. How does Kate react to Castle's proposal, and what will happen to their relationship?


**ETA: therealmrsedwardcullen2013 pointed out that Gates already knew because of Still. Of course that's correct, so I've just deleted that part since it obviously wasn't necessary. Not sure why it didn't occur to me, thank you :) **

Kate had been expecting a break-up; from the moment they had sat down and Rick had started to talk about wanting more, there was no doubt in Kate's mind that the best relationship she had ever been in – something she was finally able to admit to herself – was coming to an end. It was coming to an end before it could really even begin, Kate had thought, considering that they had spent so much of their time together hiding it. The last thing she wanted was for them to break up, but she couldn't deny that it would be as a result of her own actions.

So, Kate Beckett was prepared for her heart to be broken on that swing set. What she wasn't prepared for, though, was what did actually happen. She wasn't prepared to see that ring or to hear the words "Will you marry me?" leave Rick's lips.

"Rick," she drew his name out slowly to give herself a little extra time to compose her thoughts and her response, fully aware of the impact it would have. "I can't give you an answer just yet," Kate began, not taking her eyes of Rick as she spoke – seeing his face fall and his eyes leave hers, sensing that he was about to leave before she could explain, she started to speak again.

"Wait, please just listen to me, please hear me out Castle. I'm not saying no, but I'm also not saying yes. What I'm saying, Rick, is that we have to talk."

"Talk?" Rick interrupted, unable to keep the slight anger out of his voice. "You mean the thing you should have done when you interviewed for that job in DC? Because, Kate, I don't remember you doing much talking there! You don't talk, Kate. You don't let people in."

Knowing the truth of his words, the words stung Kate. "You're right," she admitted, looking up at Rick to try and gauge his reaction; she couldn't find one. However he was feeling, he was masking it from her and that worried Kate more than his anger. "I know I've made mistakes Castle. I know I should have told you about the job and about the interview, I know I fucked up. And I'm sorry, I truly am. I never meant to hurt you by not telling you, I just didn't know if anything would even come of it. I wasn't even sure if I wanted the job."

Castle couldn't deny the sincerity in her voice. It took a lot for Kate to admit when she was in the wrong and his face softened slightly but all the same, he couldn't keep the pain and anger out of his voice. "You still should have told me. We could have talked it through together. Kate, we're meant to be together, we're meant to work through things like this together. But you shut me out, you didn't tell me!"

"I know," Kate replied simply. "And all I can say is that in the future, that's something I'll work on. But Castle, listen to yourself. You're upset and you're angry and rightly so; this isn't how a proposal should be. It shouldn't be while we're still trying to work through issues like this. Getting married wouldn't solve this problem, and isn't that what you're trying to do here?"

Kate's words hit Rick hard, forcing him to the realisation that that was what he was trying to do here; he didn't want them to be over or for Kate to leave, and he proposed to try and prevent it.

"I guess I messed up too, didn't I? I'm here blaming you, but I'm just as guilty. I'm sorry Kate," Rick replied slowly, retaking his place on the swing next to hers as the ground became uncomfortable for him to continue kneeling on, especially since the proposal was clearly not going as he originally planned.

"I'm sorry too, Rick. And I hope you can forgive me – and I hope you know that I forgive you and I don't blame you at all. Rick, I want to be with you. I love you and I've been happier this past year with you than I have been since my mom was murdered. I want this. I want us," her speech became rushed as she tried to speak and express her feelings, something she wasn't well practiced in.

Rick's eyes lit up at hearing her admission, knowing that she still wanted their relationship to work out. "Me too Kate, of course."

His words gave her hope, and the strength to continue. "So, Rick, to answer your earlier question – no. I love you, but we're not ready yet and I don't want to ruin this by rushing into anything."

Rick smiled, for the first time since they had taken their places at the swing set. She may have said "no", but Rick heard the more subtle "not yet" that was also implied in her little speech.

They smiled at each other and Rick reached over to grasp Kate's hand – his way of telling her that he wasn't upset by her rejection, and for a moment they were too wrapped up in each other and their own thoughts to pay attention to the outside world. Kate relieved that their relationship was still okay, damaged but not over, and Rick telling himself that Kate saying no was probably best for their relationship and they could come through this stronger than before. That was, until the screams of a child pierced through the air and jolted them back to reality; reality being that this was all happening in a very public place, in a children's park and they'd be lucky if no one recognised them so that by tomorrow they wouldn't be all over page six.

"We should probably-" "Let's get-" they spoke at the same time, clearly having the same thought; let's go somewhere else to finish this talk.

They did. They ended up back at the loft where they spoke until the early hours of the morning until Kate fell asleep in Rick's arms on the sofa, and he followed not too long after.

Their relationship was rocky, but it was improving. Kate turned down the job in DC, not just for Rick but because her entire life was in New York. She couldn't leave her father, or the 12th with all her friends there, and she most definitely couldn't leave Rick.

Several months after the failed proposal – which, Kate couldn't help but note, had pretty much saved their relationship – Kate officially moved in to the loft, which they had been considering "home" for quite some time anyway. It brought them even closer, as well as bringing up some new arguments; who did what around the apartment, who paid for what, and so on. But now they could work through these things, and they could deal with their problems much more openly.

Kate didn't want to jinx anything by admitting it, but she had never been happier. She was in love with someone who loved her back, she loved her job even if the hours were crazy and it was completely draining, she had her dad and her friends there and all in all, life was as close to perfect as Kate imagined it could get.

The next summer, they were spending a weekend away in the Hamptons and it was the night before they were due to return to New York. Rick was in the kitchen cooking dinner when the words "marry me" slipped out of Kate's mouth before she could barely even register what she had said.

A smile spread across Rick's face and he dropped the carrots he was peeling in favour of turning to stare at Kate. He didn't even need to answer – they both knew that this was what they wanted and it had just been a case of waiting until they were both ready. He kissed her; deep and loving, until they both had to pull back for air.

"So, that's a yes then?" Kate smiled, blissfully happy.

"Always."

**AN: Okay, so it's been a long time since I've written anything which means that I'm very nervous about posting this and any feedback you could give me would be so, so appreciated! I've rewritten this about four times now, and I'm still not certain of parts of it but I think it's pretty good. Hopefully. You guys tell me! ;) **

**This is pretty much what I'm hoping for in S6, to a certain extent anyway. I feel like I may be in a minority wanting Kate to say no to his proposal, at least for now anyway! **

**Anyway, I'll sign off here, I hope you guys enjoyed this and I would love feedback on it. **


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